10.31.2003

i was at my parents' place the other day listening to the michael mayer peel session when my dad walked in and said "hey this music is weird". i don't know what he meant. the music is of that infamous "microhouse" variety, here w/ steady beat, melodic swirls, crackly furnace textures, a bit magenta. i asked "why weird?" and he replied "i dunno it's just... WOAH... weird" (hand motions). for me this is music as therapy, as nursing a hangover or something, i don't exactly want to *move* to it, but sway with the momentum of my internal organs surely glowing and pulsating in sync w/ the sound. as for moving... maybe that richard X?
digit 9:18 PM

10.28.2003

you know fran? long sticks dipped in strawberry, uh, cream? or something or another, a japanese snack dessert.

right now i have no fran. i have an empty fran box. and i am fondling this box. why? because i've spent too much time on the internet today and this fran box, this specimen of japanese package design, has become a new experience for me. it is tangible, has a shape and texture and glossy pink material on the front. the lid opens and closes like the top of a pacman chomper box. there is a preciousness to physical objects after so much internet, i am afraid of damage and harm, i never use novelty stickers i pick up at concerts, i save the inserts of book covers.

likewise, i dont want to do computer music. i want to drop pots and pans and swim through them. but more than that i want to take somebody along with me.
digit 12:27 AM

10.15.2003

*gasp* (for air).
digit 7:45 PM

10.06.2003

been very busy with busy things such as upgrading my computer to OS X with custom desktop screensaver and icons. i installed a gloomy bear into my system to eat up my junk. i finally got the new mame going so i was able to play sexy parodius. sleepy right now, mind has been numb, on work, not play. talking a lot to my good friends - i have new artillery, time for new fireworks. ******** i'm so anxious but there's hardly any room to breath.

there is a scene in attack the gas station (korean comedy) where one of the delinquents has a flashback showing his dad destroying all his paintings, smashing them over his head. "this is why i am fucked up and want to fuck shit up" the movie is saying. manipulatively played but for some reason i just fell right in like this flimsy emotional backstory was sharing some profound secret with me.
digit 12:19 PM