where gummy bears go when they die
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well. i may not be hip enough to keep up with this blog experiment.
digit 5:31 PM
kylie minogue's voice is obscene. it is so implausably kittenish and you imagine her with toes pointed out in little curved out angular poses writhing around like some kind of robot built out of pillows. when she sings i hear the saliva sauntering off her tongue and her breath materializes into muscle men doing dramatic flashdance congo lines out of her mouth. then she purrs and lets out some ridiculous high pitched flirt and my blood pressure rises a little. truth is, i'm not sure whether this is good. it's possible. she raps better than her sister and madonna combined though.
digit 12:28 AM
i have a complex concerning glitchy bitchiness and all that intricate click clack stuff like twerk or whatever but also venetian snares. that meticulous feeling that tickles through the headphones. the complex is that i think it's something i really rate but play off because i don't understand the software or don't really want to put the work in. it's peripheral but i wanna slay like the best of them still. cake and eating it. what can i do to get "over" it. everybody else is over it i reckon! sometimes i even get suckerpunched into a highBPM=better mindstate and then think oh what the fuck like reading something i wrote while under the influence and cringing. indulgence in distractions without falling into the hole of a single distraction isn't indulgence at all is it? what to do what to do....
digit 10:29 PM
i was at my parents' place the other day listening to the michael mayer peel session when my dad walked in and said "hey this music is weird". i don't know what he meant. the music is of that infamous "microhouse" variety, here w/ steady beat, melodic swirls, crackly furnace textures, a bit magenta. i asked "why weird?" and he replied "i dunno it's just... WOAH... weird" (hand motions). for me this is music as therapy, as nursing a hangover or something, i don't exactly want to *move* to it, but sway with the momentum of my internal organs surely glowing and pulsating in sync w/ the sound. as for moving... maybe that richard X?
digit 9:18 PM
you know fran? long sticks dipped in strawberry, uh, cream? or something or another, a japanese snack dessert.
right now i have no fran. i have an empty fran box. and i am fondling this box. why? because i've spent too much time on the internet today and this fran box, this specimen of japanese package design, has become a new experience for me. it is tangible, has a shape and texture and glossy pink material on the front. the lid opens and closes like the top of a pacman chomper box. there is a preciousness to physical objects after so much internet, i am afraid of damage and harm, i never use novelty stickers i pick up at concerts, i save the inserts of book covers.
likewise, i dont want to do computer music. i want to drop pots and pans and swim through them. but more than that i want to take somebody along with me.
digit 12:27 AM
*gasp* (for air).
digit 7:45 PM
been very busy with busy things such as upgrading my computer to OS X with custom desktop screensaver and icons. i installed a gloomy bear into my system to eat up my junk. i finally got the new mame going so i was able to play sexy parodius. sleepy right now, mind has been numb, on work, not play. talking a lot to my good friends - i have new artillery, time for new fireworks. ******** i'm so anxious but there's hardly any room to breath.
there is a scene in attack the gas station (korean comedy) where one of the delinquents has a flashback showing his dad destroying all his paintings, smashing them over his head. "this is why i am fucked up and want to fuck shit up" the movie is saying. manipulatively played but for some reason i just fell right in like this flimsy emotional backstory was sharing some profound secret with me.
digit 12:19 PM